I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I lost the right to judge tonight
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
