Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
