Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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