whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize
