So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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