the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Randomize
