So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
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