Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
