So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Are my feet made of real feet?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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