You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I'm really busy with my period
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