so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
So many bounce houses so little time
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
