every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
