I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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