I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize