So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
