ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Randomize
