i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
