love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
