WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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