Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
