Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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