I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
