i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
