I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize