I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
