Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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