Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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