Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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