We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
