ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
