can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I look better un-naked...
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
If its not for food we ain't going out.
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