And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Randomize
