He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
