So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
