Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
