Me. At least after what I've been through.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
