I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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