OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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