I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
