i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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