I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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