You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize