your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I faked an abortion last night.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
