I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
