yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
