need another drink. this is the easiest way
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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