the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
