So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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