Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
