i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
