Will you blow on my dice?
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
