I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
