Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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