whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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