Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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