My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
