i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
