need another drink. this is the easiest way
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
