i think i have two assholes
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
