so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
